


Dyssomnia

by valeforwings



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Violence, Drowning, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Is Lahabrea alive? who knows, M/M, Mentioned Lahabrea (Final Fantasy XIV), Mentions of Death, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Thancred has night terrors, Vomiting, no happy ending, no one was actually physically harmed just mentally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:49:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valeforwings/pseuds/valeforwings
Summary: "Now, now, Thancred, is that the way to treat a close and dear friend?"Thancred wasn't one to let his dreams bother him. However, these new night terrors were a different story.
Relationships: Urianger Augurelt/Lahabrea, Urianger Augurelt/Thancred Waters
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Dyssomnia

_The Walking Sands..._

_Why am I here?_

Thancred stepped further inside, looking around. Things looked as if they remained the same since the Scions had left and relocated to Mor Dhona, the only thing missing was the lively chatter of his companions and people from up above in Vesper Bay. The more Thancred looked the more it started to feel like a knife was being twisted in his gut, panic threatening to settle. 

Everything around him was silent.

_Things aren't right._

_This doesn't feel right._

**_Why?_ **

"Hello?" His voice carried through the empty room. "Is anyone here?"

No response.

His pace started to quicken as he moved through the building, trying to find anyone or anything to answer his building questions. The only sound in Thancred's ears was his own breathing and boots against the floor. He had to find someone, someone had to be here. Thancred ran to throw open the doors to the Solar, a room he hadn't dare think about or enter in years. And much to his unsurprise and equal disappointment, it was empty. Left untouched by time. He turned on his heel, going back to where someone just had to be. Coming into another large room that was once a gathering place for everyone, it too, was vacant. No merchants, no familiar faces, nothing. Just the heavy silence and creeping fear that Thancred was truly alone, and he didn't know why.

"I can't believe this..." Desperately his eyes searched the room over and over again, wanting any bit of evidence that his mind wasn't playing tricks. 

And then Thancred saw it. Or rather, him.

A familiar white hood. Belonging to a tall body he all knew too well.

"Urianger-!" A wave of relief spread through his body and Thancred raced to the Elezen. "Is that really you? Where is everyone, are they here?" Urianger didn't move or speak, facing the wall from his standing position. It seemed as if he was a statue from standing perfectly still and offered no response when Thancred placed a hand on his shoulder. The relief disappeared instantly, being replaced with more overwhelming dread. 

_Cold._

_Urianger feels cold, even through his robes._

Panicking, Thancred tried to turn him around but Urianger wouldn't even slightly budge. In an act of desperation, he started to shake him to get any kind of response other than unbearable silence. "Urianger, hey-!"

_"Now, now, Thancred, is that the way to treat a close and dear friend?"_

Thancred stopped, hands starting to tremble. 

He knew that voice.

He knew that voice all too well.

And he didn't want to believe it.

It couldn't be...

_"I was hoping for a more welcoming embrace, but to be shoved around like a fool isn't very kind when I treated your body so nicely once before..."_

Lahabrea.

"It...it can't be, it can't be you, where are you-"

_"Oh, but why not? I've missed you, Thancred..."_

Lifelessly Urianger turned around, face still hidden underneath his goggles. But there was a grin spread across his face, shaking Thancred to his core. It felt...malicious, unkind, and definitely not welcoming or warm or anything like Urianger. Like his Urianger. A hand reached up to remove the goggles from his face to reveal golden orbs that shone even through the dimly lit room, but in an instant Thancred's throat seized and he couldn't breathe.

Because an all-too familiar red glyph appeared over Urianger's face.

* * *

  
  
Thancred woke up quickly, gasping for air and heart threatening to beat out of his chest. 

He looked around the room frantically, trying to calm himself down and make sure he knew where he was and not back in the Walking Sands. After seconds that felt like an eternity Thancred finally recognized the room he was in belonging to the inn in Limsa Lominsa, remembering he was there for a short visit to the Maelstrom and definitely not within another dream, he let out a sigh of relief and let himself fall back against the mattress and pillows behind him. 

"What in the hells was that..." Coarse hands rubbed his face. " _Why?"_

Truth be told there were times where Thancred felt an uneasy presence in whatever aether he had left. While past events made it weaken and distorted, when dealing with Ascians he felt something deep down in his veins. And what he felt, even in that dream (at least, Thancred hoped it had just been a dream and nothing more...), he felt those same feelings but they were so intensified it felt almost unreal and too real at the same time. Suffocating. Why did he have that dream? Was it a sign? A warning? Just his stress and exhaustion playing tricks on his mind? Why did it have to be Urianger? Did Lahabrea really know that they were involved together or was it just a random phantom of his choosing to try and mess with him? He and Urianger hadn't confessed their feelings for each other until after dealing with the Warriors of Darkness and that was long after Lahabrea had been taken completely out of the picture. Unless, while Thancred was Lahabrea's host, he snuck around and fell upon some of his private thoughts of how he was slowly developing those same feelings for Urianger...

"You're finally losing it, Waters. Congratulations." He grumbled. 

The sound of seagulls and the distant waves shook Thancred from his thoughts. Would he tell the rest of the Scions? Or even...would he tell Urianger, at least? He wouldn't see them in for another two evenings, which would at least give Thancred the time to think on how to approach speaking about this occurrence. Perhaps even this was just a one-time happenstance and he wouldn't have to worry about it.

But if that was the case, why did Thancred doubt that theory the most?

* * *

  
  
_A constant drip._

_Cold._

A chill went through Thancred's body before opening his eyes.

Everything around him was almost pitch black, with hues of blue. No discernible walls, flooring or ceiling, just coldness and emptiness.

"Where am I this time?"

Mindlessly, Thancred started to walk forward into the darkness. His footsteps sounded like they were walking on top of something damp and wet as he continued on but never felt like he was stepping deeper into a body of water. Thancred couldn't tell how far he was going nor how long he had been walking for because his surroundings never changed but one thing was for sure: he more he walked the more he felt the same feeling as the previous night. He tried to keep a clear head even while being unsure about where he even was. Figures that being in a completely unrecognizable void was more comforting than a place he was familiar with, like the Walking Sands.

_"Ah, there you are. I was getting lonely..."_

Thancred stopped. 

_That voice._

_"Your hesitation hurts deeply. Don't you want to see me, Thancred?"_

Slowly, Thancred turned around.

And there he was. Lahabrea. But not in Ascian robes and masked as his own self but as Urianger once again, glyph present and glowing in the darkness.

"Why?" His hands balled up into fists at his sides. Lahabrea was silent, which only made Thancred more furious. " _ANSWER ME!_ Why are you here? Why am I here?! _Why Urianger?!_ "

A smile.

A coy, but terrifying smile.

Overwhelmed by anger Thancred charged at the Ascian as fast as his legs would carry him letting a shout escape from his chest, the red of the glyph clouding his mind as he got closer and closer. He thought about nothing else in that moment only to get his hands on that body, whoever or whatever it was, and get to the bottom of things and some kind of answer. Before Lahabrea was even in an arm's reach of Thancred, the glyph disappeared from Urianger's face in an instant leaving the Elezen with a confused and...equally terrified expression, no trace of that smile that filled Thancred with the anger he was feeling now. An expression that was unusual, even for Urianger, but something from deep within himself told the Hyur that it was genuine. Thancred was moving too quickly to stop himself and it would have been seconds before he would have collided with Urianger, but all Thancred had to do was blink and Urianger was being pulled down through the floor and into a body of deep, dark water. Panicked words came from Urianger before he went completely under.

_"Thancred, help-!"_

"Urianger!" Thancred's eyes widened as he stumbled onto the wet ground where Urianger once stood, fists beating on the watery surface and trying somehow to break through and reach him. There was seemingly no air in his lungs and struggled to breathe as he lost sight of Urianger under the water and continued to pound against the ground even when his knuckles started to bleed. Even if he was in pain, even if his bones were to break, he didn't want to stop until he broke through the floor. "No, Gods, no, no, _no_ -!"

_You did this._

_You can't save him._

_He's gone._

_"Urianger!"_

* * *

  
The airship catching slight turbulence woke Thancred with a scream from his deep sleep. He had fallen asleep on accident and there were barely any other passengers on board to witness his outburst, but truth be told he hadn't gotten much rest from the last time that the vision of Lahabrea visited him and after this reoccurrence he wasn't so sure that sleep would be his top priority. He would be arriving in the docks in Ishgard and from there travel by chocobo porter through Coerthas to reach the other Scions and Warrior of Light in Mor Dhona...but most importantly, Urianger. He still had some time to mentally prepare but getting more sleep was definitely off the table. Thancred got up from his seat and stretched, taking a moment to calm his breathing and gaze at the clouds and mountains. A breeze came through the open cabin and it wasn't until then he felt his cheeks wet and he swore that even his knuckles felt sore.

He used the back of his hand to wipe at his face, not wanting more tears to spill from his eyes as his mind tried to recall what had just happened in whatever hell dreamscape he was just in. More mind tricks, and maybe not the last.

_Urianger...if this is a sign, please be okay..._

* * *

  
  
"Thancred, you're back!" Tataru was the first to greet Thancred as he stepped into the Seventh Heaven. "How was Limsa?"

"S'fine...hey, where is everyone by chance?" Thancred sounded nervous. As if the response would be something he didn't want to hear, like everyone had disappeared completely or never existed. 

"Well, Krile is out running errands with miss Y'shtola up in Revenant's Toll, miss Corgi actually went off to Doma to visit Lord Hien and Alphinaud, Alisaie, and Urianger are back reading all cozy like in the Rising Stones! Sort of a normal day."

It was relieving to hear Urianger's name without unfortunate news tied to the end of it and Thancred couldn't help but let that sigh of relief escape his lips. "That's...great, actually. Um...if you see 'Shtola and Krile come back in, can you tell them I would like to speak with them? Us? Together?"

"You got it! Important business you've learned while away, eh?"

"I guess you could...call it important business." Thancred swallowed the lump that was trying to form in his throat. "But thank you, Tataru."

Thancred began taking off his jacket as he opened the doors to the Rising Stones. His legs moved on their own like many times before through the hall, and stopped at the center of the room. There, to his left just like Tataru said, sat Alphinaud, Alisaie and most importantly...Urianger.

"Ah, hello there Thancred. Glad to see you back in one piece and didn't fall into the sea." 

Thancred couldn't help but roll his eyes and smile slightly at Alphinaud's comment. His eyes went from the pair of twins to Urianger, who was already setting his book aside to stand and greet Thancred. 

"Welcome back, Thancred."

The sincere tone in Urianger's voice was more than enough to make Thancred's body swell with overwhelming emotion. But to reach out and touch the Elezen's arm, to feel that he was actually here and warm was almost going to push him over the edge. He was _here_ , with _him_. But remembering the tricks his dreams, or nightmares, did to him almost spilled those feelings over the brim. He could feel throughout his entire body that this _was_ Urianger. Not Lahabrea. No threat. Just pure Urianger. That's all Thancred could ever want.

"Hey there." Thancred couldn't stop his voice from cracking. Even with Alphinaud and Alisaie there, he couldn't help but feel at ease and almost vulnerable with Urianger. After all, the two had been bonded together for quite some time and it had taken a lot for the Hyur to allow himself to open up. Urianger immediately noticed the change in Thancred's demeanor and took his hand to lead him to a more private spot in the Rising Stones, away from prying eyes and ears. "I-"

"Tis alright, thou don't hast to speak. Thou can speak when thy is content."

Thancred exhaled, nodding. He felt a hand squeeze his own. "When we're all here. Okay?" 

"Aye." 

Thancred felt a soft kiss being placed onto his forehead and tears began to surface.

_But right now I'm glad that you're okay._

_That you're alive._

_That you're you._

* * *

  
  
"What do you mean you've seen Lahabrea? And he _spoke_ to you?"

The Scions were seated around the gathering area, puzzled expressions on each of their faces.

"I don't know really how to explain, but...he was there, in my dreams. The last few times I fell asleep."

"You don't think he's real, do you? He should be long gone by now. Thordan took care of that bit for us, and we took care of Thordan." Y'shtola frowned. "Was there anything else that you saw? Or felt?"

"Did you get some rest while you were away? I know how you like to try and get by with not sleeping..." Tataru crossed her arms. "Coffee is not a healthy replacement for bed."

"He..." Thancred paused. "...It was like. He was trying to control Urianger. Or use him to mess with me, I think. I don't know, maybe I'm just going crazy from some spectral ghoul that doesn't even exist and I'm just going insane. I can't explain it."

No one spoke but Thancred knew that everyone was looking at Urianger, silent and waiting for Thancred to continue. Their relationship was something not new to anyone close to them. However, if there was one thing that everyone did know about Thancred is that if someone or something wanted to get under his skin was to go after or use someone he cared about against him. The mere thought of Lahabrea, somehow, still reaching out to Thancred and manipulating his thoughts, dreams and feelings was an interesting concept even with him unable to exist but it wasn't something that should be taken lightly knowing the power an Ascian can have. 

"Urianger?"

"It is...most shocking to hear. Mine apologies." Urianger sounded at a genuine loss for words. Especially with himself being mixed in the situation and a pawn to make Thancred suffer.

"What else did you see, Thancred?"

Thancred licked his lips. "I...there was the first night. I was alone in the Walking Sands, until I finally found Urianger. Or Lahabrea, I guess. Things didn't feel right. And then the second time, I was alone. Again. Everything was dark and cold and wet, and he just...appeared out of nowhere, still as Urianger. He didn't say anything, but the second his façade lifted it was like...a genuine Urianger, like it was actually him, before..." A stabbing, heavy pain started in Thancred's stomach, trying not to come visibly upset. "Before he-"

"Easy, now." Alisaie reached out to touch Thancred's shoulder.

"Before...he, before Urianger drowned. And I couldn't reach him."

The silence was unbearable. Too unbearable for Thancred to stand.

"So. What do we do?"

Krile sighed. "Well. Because this is something a bit different here considering all of the factors, I'm not sure if there's really anything we can do, unfortunately. I'm sure that we can always look for something that can be preventative but the effect may not be lasting or even work in the first place. We know that Lahabrea is gone, but this could equally well be a trick of the mind and we might have to wait and see if this improves or worsens before we take the next step. It could easily be your past experiences, stress and trauma resurfacing somehow."

That was about the answer Thancred was expecting. But it was better than nothing.

"It's going to be okay, Thancred."

_I really hope so._   
  


* * *

  
He couldn't believe what was in front of him.

Revenant's Toll.

_Burning._

Thancred stood at the entrance to the Seventh Heaven, back facing the door and watching as flames licked the ground and buildings. The bright fire illuminated the night sky, making the stars almost invisible being clouded with smoke and embers and filled his lungs with every breath. His heart started to beat quickly as adrenaline and panic started to welcome their way back in and he couldn't even think of what to do next.

_Move._

_Where is everyone? You have to find them-!_

He started to run forward, right up the small hill that once housed small booths where familiar merchants once proudly laid their goods for purchase now burnt to the ground. Unfortunately, he saw bodies. Bodies of those familiar merchants now made unrecognizable by flame and would soon become ash to be blown away by the wind and away from this unfortunate event. But no sign of the Scions, not yet. His legs continued to carry him through to where miss Rowena had set up her own wares but even that wasn't safe for the cruel lick of fire and fate. 

Even through the haze of fire and smoke, Thancred's eyes still saw a familiar red and blue. 

_Alisaie and Alphinaud._

Yellow.

_Krile._

Dark purple. 

_Y'shtola._

Pink.

_Tataru._

Dark blue. 

_The Warrior of Light. Even she wasn't safe from this._

There he found each Scion. Bodies lifeless, but together, weapons clattered in a pile on the floor almost as if someone had moved them from where they possibly met their demise. But there was someone missing, someone that he didn't see and it made his entire body numb.

Urianger. Urianger was missing.

Thancred moved to run faster behind him in a desperate panic to find Urianger. He pushed open the doors to his left, empty. He ran to his right, seeing no one down the small corridor before heading up the stairs. He moved as fast as his body would take him, legs like lead and his chest burned from exhaustion, panic and the haze in the air but he would not let himself stop until he knew where Urianger was, alive or dead. And he hoped that it wouldn't be the latter. Thancred made it to the top of the staircases, scanning his surroundings and still seeing no one around. He spun and turned to his left once again to open that set of doors but it wouldn't budge. 

"Come on, come on...!" He grit his teeth as he pushed against the solid wood, but it wouldn't budge. "Fuck!" A final fist was slammed against the door as he turned, ready to continue forward. Before he could take the first step, he heard something. Someone. Thancred took several steps forward, chest heaving and trying to focus on hearing that voice again.

_"Stop! Please...please stop!"_

There.

It sounded close. 

_"Stop!"_

Thancred tried opening the door to the other room in the small hall but it wouldn't open either. He ran to the outside overlooking the plaza, scanning everywhere to see if whoever was in trouble was in eyesight and his boot stepped on something that wasn't solid. He looked down and saw a piece of ripped dark cloth underneath his foot, a small broken chain with a single golden star tangled in the fabric.

_This is..._

A cry echoed in the air, clearer than before. _"No, stop!"_

His eyes widened. The voice sounded like it was coming from the east, and he knew deep down to his bones that he knew who was calling for help.

Urianger. He was alive. And he was in danger.

Thancred's hands started to tremble and got the all-too familiar tightness back in his throat. He looked again to his right and in the furthest corner he saw slight movement; a black cloaked figure and an exposed leg being held in place and small sobs echoed in the air. The Hyur wanted to run forward, everything in his body was _telling_ him to run but his legs wouldn't move. He noticed a slow, rhythmic motion of hips, pushing Urianger up against the wall with every thrust from the figure making him cry out in more pain.

_"No-!"_

Slowly, he started to finally walk forward. Each cry for help becoming heavier in his ears and becoming more apparent that the voice _did_ belong to Urianger. It confirmed his thoughts when he got close enough on shaking legs to catch a glimpse of a face that made his heart break. Tears were streaming down Urianger's cheeks mixed with blood, head being forced to look upwards from a gloved hand pulling at his hair and tightening every time he moved. His arms were raised above, tied at the wrist and pinned to the stone behind him. His robes had been torn and singed from straying embers to make it easier for his legs to be pulled apart and smallclothes cast aside. Thancred could see the other hand that was holding his leg holding on so tight that it was leaving indents amongst the other splotches of bruises already starting to blossom on skin that he was once delicate with time and time again. 

"Please... _stop_..." Urianger's voice was now quiet and hoarse, more cries spilling from his lips as his assailant continued without hesitation and ignoring his pleas. "No more... _please_..."

Thancred knew what was happening. What this...thing, person, this _demon_ was doing to Urianger. _His_ Urianger. The bright and brilliant stars to his sky, being snuffed out and violated right before his eyes. The more he looked he could see more bruises and cuts along Urianger's neck and arms, blood staining his silver hair and drenched with sweat.

_Why? Why can't I move? Why can't I help?_

"Thancred..." 

His knees buckled, but Thancred wouldn't let himself fall.

" _Thancred.._.!"

Words echoed through Thancred, the shock making him paralyzed and unable to even help Urianger or even look away.

_Help him! Save him, he needs you-!_

"...Thancred, please, **_stop_** _!_ "

A ringing filled Thancred's ears. He started to feel dizzy and nauseous.

_Stop? Stop what? Did whatever this is kill everyone too?_

"Enough...that's _enough_ , Thancred, please! No more..." The hand released Urianger's hair and moved to cover his mouth, pressing tightly and thrusting deeper and quicker into the broken Elezen. Thancred watched as Urianger's chest struggled to rise and fall, visibly struggling with the force against him and tears not stopping.

 _"That's enough out of you as much as I love that pained, beautiful voice...a shame you didn't want to easily submit to me, this could have gone much easier."_ Urianger was reduced to hiccups and labored breathing, becoming limp with each slow thrust. Yellow eyes that once were bright were dull and filled with sadness and pain. " _That's it..._ "

A gust of wind. And just as it seemed so simple, the hood blew off of the stranger.

White, short hair.

A purple, familiar tattoo on his neck.

And a red glyph on no one other than Thancred's face.

* * *

  
_"...cred! Thancred, wake up-!"_

Thancred woke up, struggling with flailing arms and unable to catch his breath from his empty lungs and screaming. "Don't!" He felt a hand reach out to touch his back and he pushed it away, unable to stop the saliva from pooling in his mouth. His limbs shook, body covered in sweat. Thancred rolled onto the floor and planting his palms and knees against the ground, trying to calm himself. The only feeling in his numb arms and legs was the heaviness in his veins. "I'm going to be sick-" He couldn't help from expelling whatever was in his stomach onto the floor in front of him, retching and feeling his stomach contract. His eyes stung with tears and the shaking spread to his entire body unable to keep himself under control.

This was too far. Even for an Ascian's supposed doing.

"I'm sorry, I'm so _sorry_..." His tears felt like they were burning as they fell from Thancred's eyes. "I'm sorry Uria-" A second wave of bile rose in his throat and gagged.

"Thancred..." Urianger's hand placed flat on Thancred's back trying to provide any sort of comfort. Moments passed that felt like forever; Thancred on the floor and Urianger next to him, waiting for the nausea and tremors to cease. "Thancred?"

With shaking arms Thancred lifted himself from the ground and Urianger was quick to embrace him, pulling him close. It had been several days since Thancred came forward about his dreams. Urianger had gone to bed with Thancred shortly after the group had their evening meal together and he seemed like he was in good spirits from the company. The Hyur insisted that he wasn't tired especially from the two encounters he had that still lingered in the back of his mind, but after being back in a familiar bed with Urianger at his side it wasn't long before he was asleep. What Urianger didn't expect was to have Thancred's mumbling in his sleep turn into screams followed by his entire body spasming.

"What did thou see?"

_I hurt you._

**_I. Hurt. You._ **

_It maybe wasn't really me, but **you** thought it was, and I'm so, so **sorry** -_

Thancred tried to open his mouth to at least get some kind of apology out in the air but more tears formed to fall. He couldn't even bear to look up at Urianger, keeping his face in the Elezen's shoulder and arms firmly wrapped around he larger frame, fingers gripping the fabric on Urianger's back and sobbed. He couldn't be strong anymore, not for awhile. Not after _that_.

"Tis alright..." Urianger looked to the doorway, seeing Y'shtola and Krile with worried expressions on their faces; they must have come when Thancred started to scream. "Is there aught that can be done? At least to soothe him for now?"

Y'shtola gave a nod. "We shall try. Just make sure he's okay." 

"Thank you." 

Urianger sat with Thancred in silence. Thancred was always there to make sure the Scions, Warrior of Light, himself, and so many others were safe. He may not understand what was going on or how, or even why, just like the others and Thancred himself was wondering. Maybe Krile was right; this may pass eventually, or there may not be something to cure whatever was terrorizing Thancred's mind.

But Urianger knew that it was his turn to be there and protect Thancred, from whatever was coming next.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY I SWEAR  
> I just had this idea and ran with it and it sort of...spiraled and I didn't know how to properly end it so there's sort of a open ended happy/not so happy ending ;-;


End file.
